Each day I torture my body relentlessly adding new pains. Heaving the heavy weights that lie on my shoulders off an using them to further my own masochistic behavior. But with each day the pain is less, hurt harder to find, and the memories of what was, grow fuzzier. By changing who I am, I no longer am who I was nor do I feel his suffering. I change myself for the better with each weight I lift, with each lap I swim, and with each bead of sweat the rolls off my forehead.